Work in Progress

I’ve been through a lot of major life changes since I started my blog a couple years ago. My main intention for writing that blog initially was to share one of those big changes from inception to completion to help other people who were contemplating that same change. I wanted to give people a roadmap from start to finish. Leave breadcrumbs…

But it didn’t go the way I planned it. And my feelings throughout much of the process were pretty negative. I didn’t want that to be part of the roadmap, so I didn’t write most of that. And later I felt like it was my duty to write it. And I started to… But it never felt right. And ultimately I deleted my allusions to those posts.

And then I did that a second time. These posts are mostly career-related. I read another post this morning that brought a lot of this home for me. I want to stop deciding for everybody what part of my process is worthy to put out there. Life — raw, honest and true life — is never neatly packaged and a straight line from point A to point B. It’s difficult and full of obstacles. A constant struggle. It’s also amazing, miraculous and beautiful all at the same time. It is our perception and our perspective that changes. But that is not merely all that changes. When our perception and perspective changes, that literally changes us and our world around us.

So this is me changing my perspective. This is me deciding to give you my truth as often as I can. Messy. Unfinished. Unpolished. But honest. Me.

Because ultimately, it’s not for me to decide who and what I am to you. That is your perspective to cultivate. I might bring you hope. You might relate to something small I said that seemed insignificant to me. That tiny thing might be enough to shine a light into your world brighter than I ever could’ve imagined when I said or wrote it. I might upset or frustrate you. Or you may just feel indifferent. That’s all up to you. But what’s up to me is getting myself out there. Not waiting to see if the story has a happy ending before writing its beginning and middle. Not waiting till I’m “done.” Not waiting…

I started this post when I got on the bus to work this morning. I finished it about halfway there. I’m going to post it as is. And I’m going to make a habit of this.

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